If getting your husband back is important to you then equally important should be keeping him. On and off relationships are never fun and often times end up off for good. Did you see the signs before you broke up? If you did recognize them but could do much about it then at least you tried. However, if you really were pretty much caught off guard, the following may help you keep your guy after you win him back.
Indicators of Exit Strategies
Mood Swings: This is a pretty good indicator that something is going on. Don’t assume its work or a mid-life crisis. Entertain the possibility that your husband’s mood swings could be caused by you and your relationship. If your husband is in a good mood until the two of you are alone, be careful. You need to work on your relationship so that you enjoy being around each other.
All Is Quiet: Everyone seeks time of solitude and silence. Wanting to spend time alone is not an obvious concern. When this becomes a pattern of behavior, red flags should be raised. A good course of action in the face of this is small engagements of non threatening topics. If they refuse to talk about these items there is a growing disconnect that needs to be addressed.
Going It Alone: Someone making plans to leave a relationship will begin making decisions on their own. They usually start with small things like a new piece of clothing or accessory. If asked about it, they might attribute it to liking it and wanting to get it. These small decisions escalate until they unilaterally make choices in the best interest of themselves and not the relationship.
No Check Ins: A sharp drop in the number of contacts throughout the day or on a trip could easily point a lack of concern about the other person. Someone not thinking about their spouse leads to a lifestyle of being married but acting like they are single. A person operating alone might be preparing to exit. Probing into this behavior tends to put person on the defensive. Awareness proves the most prudent course of action.
Not a Team Player: Though a couple comprised of two people never fully abandon their individuality, hearing a partner talk about each member as separate entities might mean they no longer see a cohesive whole. Watching subtle bits of communication like the reduction in the number of plural pronouns demonstrate where their mind is focused. Conversational awareness is important when picking up on these cues. They might not use “we” or “us” referring to your latest business trip. Clearly, not doing discussing your last romantic get away is a concern.
Out of the Blue: A sudden change in a partner’s thoughts, feelings or beliefs on an issue demonstrates detachment. With an increase in multiple things, a new topic might slip through the cracks. A healthy relationship will allow one partner to ask for an explanation as to why a particular issue triggers a line of thought. Also, be aware of the small things too. Just because it does not seem like a big deal, the less significant appearing items might point toward a changing attitude in general.
Relationships are difficult, even the best ones. Leaping on a solitary action, conversation or event adds to the stress of an already fraught circumstance. Be patient, but aware. Being part of a team means keeping communication open. In such an environment, partners discuss aspects of what is happening, including if the time has come to a close.
Getting your husband back and keeping him for good is an achievable goal. If you believe with all of your heart that you belong together and can still have a wonderful marriage, follow your heart. Take the right steps, avoid making critical mistakes and your chances of restoring your relationship and winning him back will significantly increase.